The year 2023 is coming to an end and once again, I’ve used the time to read a lot of books over the past twelve months.
Due to my personal journey, I always strive to educate myself in various areas. Topics that especially interest me regarding my professional pursuits are books and works that foster my creativity as a musician and broaden my horizons. Additionally, I’m deeply interested in everything related to personal development, consciousness work and neuroscience.
Every day, I see and apply much of what I’ve learned in my current work as a coach. Reading and writing also help me immensely to enhance my creativity.
So, in this post, I’d like to share with you my top 3 must-reads for 2023. I’ll specifically highlight my key learnings and share the one thing from each book that I personally apply in my life.
Enjoy!
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them
Meg Jay, PhD
⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎
«We do not learn from experience. We learn from reflecting on experience.»
The Defining Decade is an impressive book that focuses on the importance of our twenties. The author, an experienced psychotherapist, emphasizes the critical role this life stage plays in shaping our future. Jay encourages young adults to make conscious decisions regarding their careers, relationships, and personal development during their twenties. Through compelling case studies and practical advice, she explains why this decade is so formative and how to best utilize it to build a fulfilling and satisfying life. The book serves as an inspiring guide for those looking to intentionally shape their twenties.
My personal thoughts on the book
The author may give readers in their late twenties or older the sense that it’s too late if they’re only starting in their thirties. This could create a sense of urgency for some readers. Let me make this very clear: it’s not about age, but about starting at all. My daily work with people of all ages on their mental health shows this. It’s never too late to work on yourself.
My biggest learning from the book
In our twenties, we tend to take on jobs that the author refers to as the "Starbucks phase": quick money to afford things we think are important in our youth, like clothes, parties, and fleeting relationships. This, of course, is driven by the sensory overload we experience in our twenties. We see this more clearly than ever in today’s Generation Z: fewer young people are truly seeking personal development. This leads us into a self-fulfilling prophecy and eventually a hamster wheel, from which it becomes harder to escape as we age.
Meg Jay encourages readers to instead seek jobs that bring us more what she likes to call Identity Capital: jobs that temporarily push us out of our comfort zone for one purpose — personal growth. The more Identity Capital we accumulate, the better and more sustainably we expand our comfort zone.
This book is an absolute recommendation for anyone with strong mental stability. Let’s move on to the next book recommendation.
Ambition: Wie große Karrieren gelingen
Dorothea Assig & Dorothee Echter
⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎
«A great career expresses itself through great achievements for others, for society, for the world, which bring the highest recognition from one's community, personal fulfillment, and prosperity.»
Ambition addresses the pursuit of success and personal fulfillment. The author explores the concept of ambition and provides insights into the different facets of this often ambiguous term. Assig sheds light on the challenges that come with ambitious goals and gives concrete guidance on how to successfully implement ambition in various areas of life. Through practical examples and personal stories, the book demonstrates how ambition can be harnessed as a driving force for individual growth. Overall, Ambition is an inspiring read for those looking to pursue their personal goals and positively and sustainably channel their ambitions.
My personal thoughts on the book
I was positively surprised by the "out-of-the-box" thinking, something I’m not often used to from German authors. As a result, I sort of devoured the book. It is very well structured, initially defining five dimensions you should gradually work on throughout your career journey to build a stable and successful career: defining and understanding your ambition, developing your skills, stabilizing your psyche, generating positive resonance, and finally, creating your own stage. At the end of each chapter, Assig provides fitting reflection questions under her guideline “What Moves You Forward Now,” which helps you clearly define your five dimensions.
My biggest learning from the book
For a great and successful career, it is essential to stabilize your psyche. The human psyche is equipped for a rather average life; many people lack the tolerance for ambiguity — the ability to deal with ambiguous, contradictory situations. Our soul must handle career growth, allowing the ego to grow into it. A flexible mindset helps us believe that everything is in flux and that we have various opportunities to change things.
For me, this book was a huge surprise, reaffirming some of my beliefs and giving me valuable impulses for areas where I was still uncertain.
The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery
Brianna Wiest
⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎
«The breakdown is often just the tipping point that precedes the breakthrough, the moment a star implodes before it becomes a supernova.»
The Mountain Is You is an inspiring self-help book that metaphorically describes personal development as climbing a mountain. The book focuses on the idea that our greatest challenges and obstacles lie within ourselves. Brianna Wiest encourages readers to face these internal mountains, overcome their fears, and live authentically. Self-acceptance as the key to unlocking one's potential. The author shares personal experiences and practical advice to promote self-acceptance and growth. This book offers a motivating perspective for those seeking self-awareness and a more fulfilling life.
My personal thoughts on the book
From the beginning, I felt a strong connection with Brianna Wiest's books. It felt as if she were writing directly from my soul, as if she thought similarly to me. Many of her pieces of advice I already intuitively apply in my life and in my work with my clients. Realizing that this approach is correct gave me a good feeling. Wiest manages to clearly communicate the necessity of self-awareness, encouraging her readers that if they want to progress, they need to practice consciousness work. She opens a completely new path to this topic for many: we all carry this "power" within us — we just need to be brave enough to climb that mountain.
My biggest learning from the book
Every person has a self-imposed maximum happiness level, which could also be called our comfort zone. The comfort zone is formed by past experiences, emotions, resulting beliefs, habits, and automatisms — the familiar.
If our happiness is expanded too quickly, it overstretches our comfort zone so much that our subconscious will do everything it can to lure us back into a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, after a short time, we will land somewhere slightly below our usual happiness level again.
An example
A person has had many years of bad relationship experiences. In their last relationship, they were cheated on. Now, a belief is being formed in this person’s mind that they are not worthy and do not want to commit anymore. Quick flings become the norm. After some time, they meet someone who unexpectedly triggers something deep inside them. Everything fits; this person seems too good to be true. Our person encounters such an unfamiliar situation that their psyche might do everything possible to push this partner away and return to the familiar state: the maximum happiness level.
Our goal as humans is to gradually expand our comfort zone. This way, we learn to allow ourselves even more happiness. Brianna Wiest's books do an excellent job of helping anyone who wants to understand more about past-work. If you’re already familiar with the book, I recommend her next one, When You're Ready: This Is How You Heal" (Link).
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
With this blog post, I now close the chapters of this year. The books presented have been some of my most important mentors over the past months. I hope my recommendations inspire and enrich you as much as they have me.
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who took the time to read my recommendations and maybe discovered a book or two for themselves.
Now it’s your turn: What was your highlight book in 2023?
Write it in the comments!
-A
Comments